Relationships are like colors.
That is the thought that comes to my mind today as I contemplate my friends and family. Recently my family had the privilege of visiting with a family member who is fighting the last stages of cancer. When we said goodbye it was with the thought that we were saying goodbye for a very long time. Phrases like “See you on the flip side.” And “God Bless You.” Were intersperced with lots of “I love you.” It was a difficult time yet really a rare opportunity. Often we say goodbye flippantly to those we care about. Too often we forget to say goodbye.
And yet, it really isn’t goodbye. “Didn’t you hear the voices behind the curtain?” said the Harry Potter character Luna. “They are still there.”
And then there are the colors that those relationships paint on our lives.
Even the more negative relationships add to the painting. Contrasts between light and dark can make a canvas stunning.
Some relationships are shorter than others – perhaps those colors are mere specks. Then those that last throughout our lives are the colors that are predominant.
It’s just an interesting thought. It makes me glad for all the relationships I’ve had or have. I know that they all have value – just like the people themselves.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Friday, June 6, 2008
Rain, Rain and More Rain!
Ugh!
It’s raining again.
I’m trapped inside this house. The clouds outside look as if they are pressing into my window, trying to get inside with me. The bouncing preschooler I live with has taken all the cushions off the couches, thrown his toys over the floor and is currently reading upside down from three of the novels that were recently stacked neatly on the bookshelf.
At least I know that I’m not the only one going through this. I just got off the internet with a girlfriend who lives 140 kilometres away and her 3 year old just ate a shaker full of salt after painting the kitchen floor with peanutbutter. My friend had to get off the computer to comfort her now vomiting daughter. I don’t feel as bad about my preschooler.
How do we get through these days? One of my friends who has five children told me she owes her life to cider. Another of my friends asks me if I’d like a glass of wine the moment I enter her house no matter what time of day. I exercise. If it wasn’t for my morning workouts I think I’d go crazy. Although with all the rain we’ve been having lately, I may have to add cider or wine to my day.
I know: “take heart, these things too shall pass.” I’m trying to focus on the fact that we have not had a level 7 or higher earthquake, a tsunami, hurricane or any other major disaster in the last 48 hours. I’ll sip my tea, clean up when the little guy is having a nap, and be sure to have a smile on my face when the other children come home from school. By the time my husband comes home from work I’ll have supper brewing on the stove and a cold beer for him to unwind with. “It’s all good,” as the expression goes. And God bless the weatherman – he just said we’re to have sun tomorrow.
It’s raining again.
I’m trapped inside this house. The clouds outside look as if they are pressing into my window, trying to get inside with me. The bouncing preschooler I live with has taken all the cushions off the couches, thrown his toys over the floor and is currently reading upside down from three of the novels that were recently stacked neatly on the bookshelf.
At least I know that I’m not the only one going through this. I just got off the internet with a girlfriend who lives 140 kilometres away and her 3 year old just ate a shaker full of salt after painting the kitchen floor with peanutbutter. My friend had to get off the computer to comfort her now vomiting daughter. I don’t feel as bad about my preschooler.
How do we get through these days? One of my friends who has five children told me she owes her life to cider. Another of my friends asks me if I’d like a glass of wine the moment I enter her house no matter what time of day. I exercise. If it wasn’t for my morning workouts I think I’d go crazy. Although with all the rain we’ve been having lately, I may have to add cider or wine to my day.
I know: “take heart, these things too shall pass.” I’m trying to focus on the fact that we have not had a level 7 or higher earthquake, a tsunami, hurricane or any other major disaster in the last 48 hours. I’ll sip my tea, clean up when the little guy is having a nap, and be sure to have a smile on my face when the other children come home from school. By the time my husband comes home from work I’ll have supper brewing on the stove and a cold beer for him to unwind with. “It’s all good,” as the expression goes. And God bless the weatherman – he just said we’re to have sun tomorrow.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Linda’s Tasty Pork Chops In A CrockPot
Layer pork chops in the bottom of your crock pot
Cover with wine sauerkraut
Next, add cut potatoes, carrots and celery
Complete with slices of garlic sausage on top
Cook on low for 4 to 6 hours. Mmmmm!
Cover with wine sauerkraut
Next, add cut potatoes, carrots and celery
Complete with slices of garlic sausage on top
Cook on low for 4 to 6 hours. Mmmmm!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Self-Reflection by Nancy Kelly
On a recent episode of Doodlebops - a show that airs on CBC kids every weekday morning which those of you with young children may have seen - one of the main characters, Rooney, was having a day in which every experience caused him to hesitate, ponder, and question. His playmates only wanted to go and fly a kite and found his questions tiresome and time consuming. They impatiently waited time and again while he tried to find the answers to his questions – mostly just laying down where ever he was, staring off into space, and saying half sentences starting with “I wonder…” Finally he was ready to go fly a kite with them and they were off. However, even when at the park, it wasn’t long before he was again lounging on the ground staring at the sky, and asking more questions of himself and the universe.
As simple a show as Doodlebops is, I found myself identifying with Rooney. I have been accused by those closest to me in times past, of being too introspective, focusing too much on myself, and letting life slip by. I have since learned that my error may lie in the sharing of my thoughts rather than taking time for the thoughts themselves. With that in mind, perhaps our introspection is best shared with a journal rather than all of our friends.
Introspection is “a reflective looking inward: an examination of one’s own thoughts and feelings.” (Merriam Webster’s Online Dictionary). It is a time to look in the mirror and evaluate how we behave, what we like, and who we are. If we find ourselves being continually judgmental and condemning of others, this is a time to reflect why. Kristine Carlson, author of Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff for Women states, “There is not a person in your life who isn’t here to teach you something about yourself. In this way, we act as a constant reflection to one another, and ironically, the more you recoil at something you see in someone else, the more you need to look deep in yourself for this same quality…This is the growth process; once you see it, you can make a change and release it!” (pg 38)
John C. Maxwell, one of America’s experts on leadership, writes “… becoming self-aware does not come easily for most people. It is a process – sometimes a slow one – that requires intentionality.” (Winning With People, Nelson Books, 2004)
Apparently women may be more inclined to take time for more frequent periods of self-reflection.”…women in Western cultures generally appear to have greater experience in discussing, thinking about, and explaining their inner thoughts and feelings (Belenky, Clinchy, Goldberger, & Tarule, 1986).
With all this self-analisis, introspection, and reflection, it is a wonder we have cares at all. Surely we have solved the world’s problems aswell as our own with all this thinking. We must be confidently intune with ourselves, mustn’t we, by now? Well, I’m not sure how many crisis we have averted, but taking time to think and reflect is recommended by many, such as the authors quoted above. So if you are one of those who likes to lay on the grass looking at the clouds thinking about life, you aren’t wasting your time. Take what you learn and apply it in your life. But do remember to get up from the grass and go fly the kite from time to time.
As simple a show as Doodlebops is, I found myself identifying with Rooney. I have been accused by those closest to me in times past, of being too introspective, focusing too much on myself, and letting life slip by. I have since learned that my error may lie in the sharing of my thoughts rather than taking time for the thoughts themselves. With that in mind, perhaps our introspection is best shared with a journal rather than all of our friends.
Introspection is “a reflective looking inward: an examination of one’s own thoughts and feelings.” (Merriam Webster’s Online Dictionary). It is a time to look in the mirror and evaluate how we behave, what we like, and who we are. If we find ourselves being continually judgmental and condemning of others, this is a time to reflect why. Kristine Carlson, author of Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff for Women states, “There is not a person in your life who isn’t here to teach you something about yourself. In this way, we act as a constant reflection to one another, and ironically, the more you recoil at something you see in someone else, the more you need to look deep in yourself for this same quality…This is the growth process; once you see it, you can make a change and release it!” (pg 38)
John C. Maxwell, one of America’s experts on leadership, writes “… becoming self-aware does not come easily for most people. It is a process – sometimes a slow one – that requires intentionality.” (Winning With People, Nelson Books, 2004)
Apparently women may be more inclined to take time for more frequent periods of self-reflection.”…women in Western cultures generally appear to have greater experience in discussing, thinking about, and explaining their inner thoughts and feelings (Belenky, Clinchy, Goldberger, & Tarule, 1986).
With all this self-analisis, introspection, and reflection, it is a wonder we have cares at all. Surely we have solved the world’s problems aswell as our own with all this thinking. We must be confidently intune with ourselves, mustn’t we, by now? Well, I’m not sure how many crisis we have averted, but taking time to think and reflect is recommended by many, such as the authors quoted above. So if you are one of those who likes to lay on the grass looking at the clouds thinking about life, you aren’t wasting your time. Take what you learn and apply it in your life. But do remember to get up from the grass and go fly the kite from time to time.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Loneliness by Nancy Kelly
I’m 41 years old, married, and have 5 children between the ages of 2 ½ and 17. I’m surrounded by people most of my waking hours and yet I have periods of intense loneliness.
The dictionary defines loneliness as “affected with, characterized by, or causing a depressing feeling of being alone; lonesome.” I define it as being a time characterized by mental and emotional boredom. It creeps in on me unpredictably and will stay as long as I allow. I have found through talking with other women that this experience is not unique to me. “Women are lonelier and busier than ever these days,” says Lisa, a 40 year old high school teacher, wife, and mother of three. “Even knowing that they need time for themselves doesn’t help because taking time for themselves is the last thing they would do.” Lisa believes that what every person needs is to connect with another person on a daily basis. She takes this philosophy into the classroom and makes it a goal to connect with one student a day. “Just to have a moment when you look them in the eye and they look at you so you can show them you know they are a person and they can see that you are one too. Then you tell them what they need to do, or whatever, and you’ve had that moment. It’s the same thing with women,” she continues, “but they won’t take the time to do that for themselves. So they get their moments while waiting for their kids at school or lessons, or watching their kids play baseball or whatever – just to connect, even for a brief moment, is what we need.”
In this age of working women, self-driven to meet unrealistic expectations of wife, mother, income provider, etc… women are more fatigued than ever and perhaps aren’t as equipped to fight off those feelings of loneliness. I watch as my peers pick up their kids after working their jobs, to feed them in the car while driving them to their next dance, lacrosse, hockey, or baseball practices. The mothers whom I know that stay at home, most always are working on side projects to bring in money to their households. The day begins and ends hustling kids to and fro while the laundry sits and the dirty bathroom calls for any unoccupied moment that may arise. Suddenly, and it can happen in the midst of the activity, loneliness swoops in. Personally, it sometimes takes me a few moments to recognize it. I just know I’m not having any fun and I find myself wishing my husband was home or one of my friends would call.
I recognize that loneliness is not only a female condition, nor is it a 21st century phenomenon. Thomas Wolfe, an American short story writer from the early 1900s said “Loneliness is and always has been the central and inevitable experience of every man.” I believe we all yearn to have that ‘connection’ that Lisa talks about. Do you recognize that need in yourself? What do you do to combat the feeling of loneliness? What advice could you offer others based on your own experience? I’d love to hear from you.
The dictionary defines loneliness as “affected with, characterized by, or causing a depressing feeling of being alone; lonesome.” I define it as being a time characterized by mental and emotional boredom. It creeps in on me unpredictably and will stay as long as I allow. I have found through talking with other women that this experience is not unique to me. “Women are lonelier and busier than ever these days,” says Lisa, a 40 year old high school teacher, wife, and mother of three. “Even knowing that they need time for themselves doesn’t help because taking time for themselves is the last thing they would do.” Lisa believes that what every person needs is to connect with another person on a daily basis. She takes this philosophy into the classroom and makes it a goal to connect with one student a day. “Just to have a moment when you look them in the eye and they look at you so you can show them you know they are a person and they can see that you are one too. Then you tell them what they need to do, or whatever, and you’ve had that moment. It’s the same thing with women,” she continues, “but they won’t take the time to do that for themselves. So they get their moments while waiting for their kids at school or lessons, or watching their kids play baseball or whatever – just to connect, even for a brief moment, is what we need.”
In this age of working women, self-driven to meet unrealistic expectations of wife, mother, income provider, etc… women are more fatigued than ever and perhaps aren’t as equipped to fight off those feelings of loneliness. I watch as my peers pick up their kids after working their jobs, to feed them in the car while driving them to their next dance, lacrosse, hockey, or baseball practices. The mothers whom I know that stay at home, most always are working on side projects to bring in money to their households. The day begins and ends hustling kids to and fro while the laundry sits and the dirty bathroom calls for any unoccupied moment that may arise. Suddenly, and it can happen in the midst of the activity, loneliness swoops in. Personally, it sometimes takes me a few moments to recognize it. I just know I’m not having any fun and I find myself wishing my husband was home or one of my friends would call.
I recognize that loneliness is not only a female condition, nor is it a 21st century phenomenon. Thomas Wolfe, an American short story writer from the early 1900s said “Loneliness is and always has been the central and inevitable experience of every man.” I believe we all yearn to have that ‘connection’ that Lisa talks about. Do you recognize that need in yourself? What do you do to combat the feeling of loneliness? What advice could you offer others based on your own experience? I’d love to hear from you.
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