Self-Reflection by Nancy Kelly

On a recent episode of Doodlebops - a show that airs on CBC kids every weekday morning which those of you with young children may have seen - one of the main characters, Rooney, was having a day in which every experience caused him to hesitate, ponder, and question. His playmates only wanted to go and fly a kite and found his questions tiresome and time consuming. They impatiently waited time and again while he tried to find the answers to his questions – mostly just laying down where ever he was, staring off into space, and saying half sentences starting with “I wonder…” Finally he was ready to go fly a kite with them and they were off. However, even when at the park, it wasn’t long before he was again lounging on the ground staring at the sky, and asking more questions of himself and the universe.

As simple a show as Doodlebops is, I found myself identifying with Rooney. I have been accused by those closest to me in times past, of being too introspective, focusing too much on myself, and letting life slip by. I have since learned that my error may lie in the sharing of my thoughts rather than taking time for the thoughts themselves. With that in mind, perhaps our introspection is best shared with a journal rather than all of our friends.

Introspection is “a reflective looking inward: an examination of one’s own thoughts and feelings.” (Merriam Webster’s Online Dictionary). It is a time to look in the mirror and evaluate how we behave, what we like, and who we are. If we find ourselves being continually judgmental and condemning of others, this is a time to reflect why. Kristine Carlson, author of Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff for Women states, “There is not a person in your life who isn’t here to teach you something about yourself. In this way, we act as a constant reflection to one another, and ironically, the more you recoil at something you see in someone else, the more you need to look deep in yourself for this same quality…This is the growth process; once you see it, you can make a change and release it!” (pg 38)

John C. Maxwell, one of America’s experts on leadership, writes “… becoming self-aware does not come easily for most people. It is a process – sometimes a slow one – that requires intentionality.” (Winning With People, Nelson Books, 2004)

Apparently women may be more inclined to take time for more frequent periods of self-reflection.”…women in Western cultures generally appear to have greater experience in discussing, thinking about, and explaining their inner thoughts and feelings (Belenky, Clinchy, Goldberger, & Tarule, 1986).

With all this self-analisis, introspection, and reflection, it is a wonder we have cares at all. Surely we have solved the world’s problems aswell as our own with all this thinking. We must be confidently intune with ourselves, mustn’t we, by now? Well, I’m not sure how many crisis we have averted, but taking time to think and reflect is recommended by many, such as the authors quoted above. So if you are one of those who likes to lay on the grass looking at the clouds thinking about life, you aren’t wasting your time. Take what you learn and apply it in your life. But do remember to get up from the grass and go fly the kite from time to time.