Lifeshifts

Everyone has something they put their heart and soul effort into. For some it is into the raising of children. For others it is the careful arrangement of the flowers in their garden. Even others it is in the muscles and leanness of their bodies. We do all have something we put our heart into. And when we stop putting that heart and soul into what we do, well, we flounder like a fish on the bottom of a fishing boat just before the fisherman strikes it on its head.

Unfortunately floundering around does us just about the same amount of good that it does that fish - just uses up our energy flipping us around in the same few feet of space. Fortunately for us, we aren't fish and aren't about to be fried for supper. We have choice.

When I have found myself in that situation, it seems to take me quite a while to realize I don't need to be kicking and screaming and wandering around. What I need to do is sit up, take stock, make some new plans and get on with things. Ironically I have found myself in this situation more times than I'd like to admit. And I've got myself into all sorts of unusual (for me) situations while flipping and flapping around. Some of them have been rather entertaining, but mostly it's been just a big waste of time creating further frustrations that spill over into even more fishlike behaviour.

Well this last time it has taken me being laid up in bed for four days with some not-too-nice version of the stomach flu to realize that I have been spinning in mental circles for much too long. I've been worrying about things with too much depth and taking those things that ARE in my control and doing nothing with them.

I won't be hard on myself though. I do know that this is the way life is and it just seems to take me longer than the average bear to realize when life has shifted. And, life has shifted.

I think about those women who experience the empty nest syndrome. I wonder if this is a similar feeling for them. The world is going one way and suddenly it has all changed. Our purpose is not as clearly defined and taking care of the house without the children in it is just not that fufilling anymore, if it ever was. I know my own mother went back to work more seriously when all but one of us were out of the house and my sister was a teenager locked in her own life. I remember it was a tumulous time for her during which she put on a bit more weight than she would have liked. She gave up things she had enjoyed doing in the past - no more crafts, no more writing, no more baking cool things. She started buying jewelry and fancier clothes - mind you, she was working at a jewelry store and did get great deals. But even so, this was a woman who had spent most of her life making her own clothing and wearing the same three pair of earings. Myself around my early to mid twenties thought she was a pretty cool mom. I didn't realize the tumulous struggle she was going through.

I wonder if you are in a life changing point in your life? Has something happened to shake things up abit? If they have, you are not alone. There are varying degrees of these lifeshifts, but they are there for all of us. Most of the time they sneak up on us like a fisherman's hook. Sometimes we see them coming and swim right on into the net like we don't know what we're doing. I hope it takes you less time than it takes me to notice what is going on and take control and change those things you can if you desire and let the other things which are out of your control slip on by. Find new things to put your heart and soul into and continue to live with a smile on.